I was 33 years old, young and fit, on my way to the gym when I got a call from my doctor that instantly turned my world upside down. I was pregnant with twins, feeling perfectly healthy. There was no way this could be possible, and I reminded the doctor of my name and date of birth to let him know he was probably looking at the wrong chart. Much to my surprise, the doctor wasn’t looking at the wrong chart, and I heard the six-letter word that nobody ever wants to hear.
My life literally flashed before my eyes, and I couldn’t catch my breath or even speak. All I could see was my daughter’s bright blue eyes and light-up-the-room smile flashing over and over in my head as my mind was racing in a million different directions. My amazing husband, my parents, my siblings, my people; I wasn’t leaving them. And let alone the two little babies in my stomach waiting for me to give them life while mine was on the line. I kept thinking, how could this be happening to me? I felt like I was in a bad dream, a nightmare that I was surely going to wake up from. The same day that I got the call, I was sent to the ER and then right to the oncology floor, where it finally hit me that this wasn’t just a bad dream, and this was truly happening. Little did I know that I was about to be in the hospital for six weeks, deliver my two babies at 29 weeks, and start chemotherapy within 24 hours of giving birth. After my twin boys were born, the fight was just getting started. Six grueling weeks in the hospital passed, and I still had a long road ahead.
I continued to return to the hospital for about two and a half weeks each month until I finished my chemotherapy regimen. Every hospital stay was extremely challenging, and I couldn’t understand how everyone’s world outside was running as usual while my world was completely stopped.
Fast forward about five months, and I completed my treatment. I can’t say the road was easy, it was far from that. The ups, the downs, the highs (yes, some days were wins), the lows, it was an ever-evolving rollercoaster. I had to keep one foot in front of the other and remind myself of everything that was waiting for me. My adoring husband, who is my best friend, my glue, my amazing daughter, and my two beautiful baby boys (my true guardian angels). I walked the halls of my hospital floor every day and told myself I’m walking out of there cancer-free one way or another. I’m a fighter, a mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend, who isn’t going to let a disease define or bring her down.
Through this experience, my life has been forever changed, but in some ways for the better. I don’t sweat the small stuff, and I live each day to the fullest because life is truly beautiful and precious.
It is still hard to wrap my head around what happened but I’m here today and stronger than ever. I am thriving my babies are thriving and my family is the strongest it’s ever been. Everyday is a win and everyday deserves to be celebrated.
Lexi
blood cancer
