On April 15th, 2010, I was diagnosed with lymphoma at 20 years old. In my naivety, I thought my disease would resolve itself one way or the other in a timely manner. What ended up happening because of multiple relapses and severe complications is that my disease and recovery consumed my 20s. After my first relapse in 2011, my family and I were made of aware of resources offered by Blood Cancer United by a social worker to help us prepare for my bone marrow transplant.
My transplant was successful, but I unfortunately suffered my second relapse in 2012. I was initially told there was nothing left to do. However, my doctor had an idea. I went into remission in June 2012 and have remained cancer free since. Unfortunately, my treatment had to be so intense that I was left paralyzed from the waist down. I’m not sure that paralysis being the result of 3 years of cancer treatment is something I could have accepted. I couldn’t see a road forward that I had any particular interest in going down. Fortunately, after almost 2 months of paralysis, that same doctor had another idea. After the first treatment to reverse the damage, I was able to move my foot. From that day of moving my foot to being able to walk without the use of any aid took 4 and a half years.
It took a long time to process what happened to me. I think I’m still trying to make some kind of peace with everything that happened. There are still moments after all these years that I can’t even bring myself to think about. After years of feeling like my entire life had been paused, I finally felt well enough to move away from my home in Cleveland. I felt like “cancer guy” had become my identifier. As I mentioned, I had been familiarized with Blood Cancer United during my treatment, but I wasn’t able to really get involved until I moved to Los Angeles.
In attending events like Light The Night or participating in the S.H.A.R.E. Project, I have met so many wonderful people that have helped me to come to the most important realization of my life. I am “cancer guy.” It’s just not the pejorative that I once thought. My cancer treatment and years of recovery are on page 1 of my story. The blood cancer survivor community is obviously not one that anyone would choose to be a part of, but I can say with conviction that the community fostered by Blood Cancer United is supportive and invigorating. I am no longer able to run thanks to the side effects of my treatment, but even if I could run from my past and the pain associated with it, I wouldn’t. It is an enormous part of my identity, and I now know that embracing this is my road ahead.
David
lymphoma
