I was surprised in June 2024 when I noticed a lump in my groin. It got bigger, and so I went to the doctor, who ordered a CT scan and a biopsy, then a PET scan. In the last days of July, I was diagnosed with stage 4 diffuse B-cell non-Hodgkin lymphoma (DLBCL). Because I had too much calcium in my blood, I was told to go to the emergency room. I felt frightened as a team of doctors surrounded me. My oncologist introduced herself, and my first question was, “Will I lose my hair?” and second, “Am I going to die?” Her answers were “yes” to the first question and “no” to the second. So, I hung on to that and trusted her through the whole process. That day, I was admitted to the hospital, where I received my first chemotherapy treatment.
During my two days in the hospital, I was mostly numb and in shock because all the tests and chemo happened so fast. Everyone around me said I was handling it well, but I honestly felt removed, as if I was watching it all. What I did feel was the caring concern of most of the medical people and my husband, who heroically held me up throughout this experience.
The situation got real to me after the second chemo, about three weeks later, when my hair came out in clumps, and a CT scan showed multiple fractures in my right hip. Dealing with this new reality became a full-time job. What made it easier was my oncologist and her office, who pre-scheduled me for the every-three-week chemo treatments and appointments. They were very available to answer my questions, especially about the nausea I felt after chemo. I tried every drug they had to control it, and finally hit on a combination that worked. Everyone was so patient and kind, especially at the chemo sessions. The infusion room was always a cheerful place, thanks to the wonderful techs.
While I was undergoing chemo, I joined several online Blood Cancer United support groups. The wealth of experience there was really helpful because whatever question I asked, someone had an answer. From that time until now, I continue to join with the other cancer patients and survivors and to ask questions. Now I can answer some questions too.
After six chemo sessions, I was pronounced in remission in November 2024. So, I hoped that would be the end of my story, but post-cancer has turned out to be difficult. I had a virus twice, which weakened me, and I have continued musculoskeletal pain because of the chemo, and fatigue. I signed up for a mentor through an organization called Imerman Angels, which was recommended by Blood Cancer United. My mentor just celebrated five years in remission, which is inspiring for me because at five years, you are pronounced cured.
Now seven months into remission, I’m still working through the pain and fatigue. But my hair is growing out nice and thick. This has been a test of my patience. But mostly I’m just so grateful to be alive every day.
Laure
stage 4 diffuse B-cell non-Hodgkin lymphoma (DLBCL)
