I am a third-year medical student in the United States. Almost four years ago, at 23 years old, I was diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukemia (CML). At that age, you feel invincible, so that diagnosis made my world stop.
Before being diagnosed, I experienced weight loss, abdominal pain, night sweats, and fatigue, which I had attributed to the stress of applying to medical school. After my diagnosis, I deferred my acceptance for a year and focused on treatment with tyrosine kinase inhibitors while trying to rebuild my sense of self.
While I am grateful that CML is highly treatable, the hardest part was the emotional impact it had on my identity. I would wake up each morning thinking, “I have leukemia.” I struggled with depression and spent a long time searching for peace in what had happened.
Leaning on my friends, family, and therapy helped me move forward and gave me a deeper understanding of the patient experience. Living with uncertainty and fear is something I will carry with me throughout my career.
Now, over three years into living with CML, I understand that grief and acceptance are ongoing. I hope to use my experience to advocate for my patients and their well-being, and I believe that having been a patient myself will make me a stronger, more compassionate physician.
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Chronic myeloid leukemia (CML)
