For the past six years, I have worked as a nurse, four of those years as an oncology nurse. I was the one assessing patients, reviewing lab results, collaborating with oncologists, hanging chemotherapy, comforting patients through their hardest days, and celebrating their milestones.
One week after my 28th birthday, my life changed forever. I received the worst news of my life. I had acute myeloid leukemia (AML).
Just one week before, I had been hanging chemotherapy for my patients. Suddenly, I was the one lying in a hospital bed receiving that same chemotherapy myself. I was receiving this life-changing diagnosis from oncologists I had worked alongside and collaborated with to care for our patients. Suddenly, I was the patient they were treating.
Going from nurse to patient was an incredibly surreal experience. In some ways, knowing so much about cancer and the treatment process was a blessing. I understood the terminology. I knew what questions to ask. I knew how to advocate for myself. But knowledge can also be a double-edged sword.
I understood the possibilities of what could go wrong. I knew how long and difficult this journey could be. There were moments when the fear of what was ahead felt overwhelming.
I spent a month in the hospital undergoing chemotherapy, countless blood draws, bone marrow biopsies, lumbar punctures, transfusions, and more. I achieved remission, but eventually learned chemotherapy alone wasn’t enough. I would need a stem cell transplant to cure my disease.
Thankfully, I made it through. I’m now almost three months post-transplant. I am incredibly grateful for my care team and everyone who has gotten me here. I can’t wait for the day I can return to caring for my patients. Because I know what it feels like to be a nurse. And now, I know what it feels like to be the patient, too.
Liz
acute myeloid leukemia (AML)
