“I have lost my hero, I have lost my friend, but for you, my darling, I would do it all again.”
I feel so blessed to have had the joy of meeting her and sharing our lives together. For so many reasons, it should have never happened. The words that start this story are from a St. Vincent song in New York because it succinctly paints a picture of what was and did happen.
We met in May 2011. How many couples meet these days ― Match.com? We started dating and meeting each other’s friends; we went to California in July 2011 to meet my brothers and their families. We went to the zoo, which is one of our favorite things to do, and Notre Dame vs. Spartan football games.
In October 2012, a weird lump had formed on her throat. She went to see the doctor. He could not figure it out at first, so he ran a complete bloodwork to be sure.
Lisa then got a call that she needed to come in. Then a second call to bring a friend . . . never words you want to hear after bloodwork. Our dear friend Cindy accompanied her, and on Lisa’s birthday, October 16, a date I will never forget as you have to say it every time anything is done at the hospital.
She was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia (AML). As Cindy can tell you, the news was not received in the typical fashion ― it was Lisa fashion, with her saying, "Let’s go!" and "How do we beat this?"
She started treatment, and immediately the chemo worked. It was gone. Then it came back. More chemo. AML gone again. Then it came back; something was not normal. As we learned throughout this long battle, if a weird, rare, worse thing could happen, it would. She had a Flit3 chromosome mutation and would need a bone marrow transplant.
Enter the amazing bone marrow transplant (BMT) team. The love and dedication of this group of talented people were beyond the call of duty. Their passion to find a cure for Lisa’s illness was only matched by her faith in God and that they would be able to leverage her faith with science and beat this! Signs went up in her room, “TEMPORARY, PULL UP MY BOOTSTRAPS, KICKIN’ CANCER.” The angels were formed ― Cindy, Bee, Sue, and Wendy.
In January, she got a bone marrow transplant. A month later, Cindy, Lisa, and I were pumped up as we headed to meet the care team. Our nurse, Sue, was unusually somber when she came in, and then John had the same somber mood as well. The news, “The transplant is not taking, and you have two months to live.”
Shocked and stunned, I said we are going to Ireland (as that was a dream of ours). John said you can’t; she will die there. I then proceeded to get down on one knee and proposed to Lisa and said we are going to bring Ireland here and have an amazing Irish wedding and celebration and not wait around for the end. She said, “Yes!”
Two days after the amazing celebration that many of you attended, we were back at the doctor's office being told that they didn’t know what was happening, but her counts were near normal, and the bone marrow transplant was working. Faith and the power of love combined with science had triumphed!
Over the course of several years, Lisa was able to start living her life on and off again while also battling life-threatening illnesses that would have taken mere mortals down ― c-diff, CMV, pneumonia, sepsis/sickest person in the hospital, and all the while being afflicted with crippling graft vs. host disease (GVHD), acute and chronic, of course, she had both. The care team had never met anyone like Lisa and drew off of her positive attitude, faith, and never-quit mentality to continue to look for a way they could give their “Miracle Girl” her life back. We are forever grateful for all that they did for her. We were able to have 6½ additional years of our Lisa.
What I want to make sure you all remember is Lisa’s unwavering faith. It gave me the ability to love unconditionally (family, students, friends, my children, animals, and me). It gave her the ability to fight with an attitude that was more than positive. It was inspiring. She was as tough as nails! Her faith melded science and God with grace and pureness that everyone could see and draw from. The joy she had when she was with her and my family and telling stories . . . that laugh, that smile, that love.
She loved and believed in unicorns and rainbows, Hallmark Channel love stories, me, and most of all, Jesus. But don’t be fooled. As many people have witnessed, don’t cross a friend or family member or you will see the fierce loyalty and Momma bear mentality come out to protect. She always looked to make sure others were okay before herself, always.
I am the luckiest man alive to have had this amazing woman fall in love with me, and I am with her. She will forever be in my heart, and I will always, always love her.
I have lost my hero, I have lost my friend, but for you, my Darling, I would do it all again.
Richard
Volunteer
