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Many celebrate the holiday season with joyful gatherings and festive traditions. For cancer patients confined to a hospital, this time of year can feel profoundly different—a sense of missing out on family traditions, holiday meals, and the simple comfort of home.
Cancer treatment doesn’t pause for the holidays. Some patients are tethered to IV poles and treatment schedules. While the world outside is filled with lights and laughter, inside the hospital walls, patients are often navigating physical effects of treatment and a complex mix of emotions.
Chemotherapy, radiation, and surgeries continue as scheduled, often leaving patients tired, nauseous, or in pain. Dietary restrictions or treatment side effects may prohibit them from enjoying holiday foods and treats. Even the smells of festive meals can be overwhelming for someone experiencing nausea. For those immunocompromised, the risk of infection means limited visitors and strict precautions. While these measures are critical, they can deepen one’s feelings of loneliness and isolation during a season that’s recognized for togetherness.
Yet, amidst these challenges, there is also resilience. Patients find new ways to connect with loved ones—through video calls, handwritten notes, or bedside visits. Loved ones and hospital staff often go above and beyond to bring the holiday spirit to patients. These gestures become lifelines, offering comfort, hope and gratitude.
The gift of being present
Ashlee Cramer, a two-time cancer caregiver, knows all too well what it’s like for cancer patients who have to spend holidays in hospital. On December 5, 2014, her husband Patrice was diagnosed with large b-cell lymphoma. It was considered “treatable.” His first chemo cycle was scheduled just days before Christmas, derailing holiday festivities planned with their three young children. Ashlee recalls, “December 25th was tearful. We were scared. Yet somehow that day became the gift. Not a big box wrapped in sparkly paper with a shiny bow. Not a present taken from Santa’s sack. Simply being together was THE thing. It did not matter where we were, how we were dressed, what we ate. It sounds cliché but gathering around my husband’s hospital bed with our three kids was all we needed. Hugging. Talking. There were wet cheeks for sure, but there was also laughter.”
At the time, Ashlee and her family were brand new to cancer. She didn’t think about decorating the room or bringing their family traditions to the hospital. “We did bring a lot of love… and it became etched in my heart as one of the MOST beautiful holidays we had ever spent together.” However, it would also be one of the Cramer family’s last holidays all together. Patrice passed away just 17 months later.
Bringing the holidays to the hospital
In 2020, cancer came again—Michael, Ashlee and Patrice’s youngest son, was diagnosed at age 19 with hepatosplenic T-cell lymphoma. This rare and aggressive type of blood cancer with less than 200 documented cases required a demanding treatment plan. It meant that Ashlee would be spending more holidays in the hospital. Again, as a caregiver. This time at her son Michael’s side.
But this time she had more information. Ashlee knew more. She had more time and knowledge to prepare. “First Halloween. Then Thanksgiving. Then the deeper and more poignant December holidays and New Year’s crept up. If we could not go home for holidays, we would bring the holidays to the hospital. I brought colorful twinkly lights and a small, artificial tree as real plants are often forbidden for immunocompromised oncology patients. I had pieces of paper and scissors and would ask every visitor, including nurses and healthcare providers, to make paper snowflakes. I hung them from the ceiling, and it made the room a magical winter wonderland almost instantly. We decorated stockings, and blinged out Michael’s IV pole. We wrapped inexpensive gifts for the nurses to make it more festive. We played soft holiday music. The energy of the room became warm, cozy, welcoming, full of love and dare I say, hope. The gift was still my son being alive. Being together. Hugging, talking, loving. But we added the warm touches of home.”
How you can support loved ones in the hospital during the holidays
If you have a loved one spending the holidays in the hospital, here are a few ways to help make the season brighter:
- Bring the holidays to them: Decorate their room with small, safe decorations. Play their favorite holiday music. Ask visitors to make or bring a decoration or keepsake to make the space feel more festive. Ashlee recommends incorporating fun traditions that adhere to hospital policies. And be flexible to adapt to the patient’s needs and energy.
- Stay connected: Schedule regular calls or video chats. Even a few minutes can help lift spirits. If possible, plan a special virtual celebration on days when you would usually be together.
- Send comfort items: Cozy blankets, handwritten cards, or favorite snacks (if allowed) can make a big difference.
- Offer emotional support: Sometimes, listening is the greatest gift you can give. Ashlee says, “Being together quietly might be enough, especially if your loved one is not feeling well.”
- Recognize caregivers: They often spend just as much time in the hospital with their loved ones supporting them during their cancer experience. Make sure their needs are met. Bring a small gift to acknowledge that the holiday season is a bit different for them, too.
These small gestures of compassion can transform a difficult season into one filled with meaning. And they serve as a powerful reminder: even in the darkest times, light can find its way in.
Ashlee remains an active, full-time caregiver to Michael, now 24. He’s been in remission for 5 years from his blood cancer diagnosis. Michael lives with complications from chronic graft-versus host disease (GVHD) that require weekly treatments and his mother’s care. Ashlee’s experiences are a constant reminder of what the holidays are truly about as she reflects, “… a time to share love, maybe with a smile, maybe with tears, maybe with a gift. Grace and love above all.”
Blood Cancer United is here for you anytime
No one, at any time of the year, should face a blood cancer diagnosis alone. Blood Cancer United offers an extensive array of free resources and services for patients, caregivers, survivors, and family members that includes personalized support, financial assistance, support programs, education programs and content, clinical trial navigation, and nutrition consultations.
If you or a loved one are impacted by blood cancer, we encourage you to connect with Blood Cancer United’s expert Information Specialists. Click here to learn more, send an email or chat. Information specialists are also available by phone Monday - Friday 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. ET; call us at 1-800-955-4572.
