On April 1, 2025, my wife, Joan, passed away as a result of multiple myeloma (MM). She was diagnosed just weeks before her death.
Joan and I met in the Bronx, N.Y., when we were both 16 and dated throughout high school and college, marrying in 1967. She was my best friend for 65 years.
I can’t bring Joan back to life, but I hope that by pointing out the warning signs that were missed, I might help others with multiple myeloma get diagnosed early, resulting in timely treatment that can help promote remission and extend one’s life.
Joan had experienced back pain for years and was diagnosed with spinal stenosis, which is the narrowing of one or more spaces within the spinal canal. She was treated for the stenosis with physical therapy and pain medicine.
Although the pain continued to worsen to the point where walking became difficult, and her annual bloodwork showed signs of anemia and blood cell abnormalities, she was never tested for multiple myeloma. Her doctors were caring, but multiple myeloma wasn’t on the radar, in part because it’s a less common cancer that doctors may encounter infrequently. It’s also easy to confuse multiple myeloma symptoms with common symptoms of other illnesses and conditions, including arthritis, diabetes, and lyme disease.
Multiple myeloma affects plasma cells in the bone marrow, which can lead to lesions in the bones, including those of the spine. In its early stages, multiple myeloma symptoms may be absent. But at some point, the following symptoms will become apparent:
- Fatigue, severe tiredness, lethargy
- Frequent infections, fevers, and/or chills
- Bone pain or bone fractures with no known cause
- Increased difficulty walking
Joan had most of these symptoms, and they worsened in the last years of her life. Knowing what we know now, she should have undergone testing for multiple myeloma. Diagnosis typically involves several steps: blood and urine tests to detect abnormal proteins (M-protein) and irregular blood cell counts; a bone marrow biopsy to examine plasma cells; imaging scans to identify bone damage or tumors; and genetic testing to guide treatment decisions.
Physicians assess these findings against the CRAB criteria — elevated calcium, kidney impairment, anemia, and bone lesions. Together with M-protein levels and the percentage of plasma cells, these results determine the stage and severity of the disease, shaping the treatment approach.
If the above testing had been done in a timely manner, Joan might have been diagnosed earlier. Though we’ll never know for sure, treatment could have lessened the suffering she experienced and extended her life.
As much as I would like a do-over, the best I can do now is to encourage others with symptoms of multiple myeloma to seek testing. As we grow older, it’s easy to believe that aches and pains are simply a result of aging. But if you or a family member is experiencing pain without a clear underlying cause, or is experiencing pain alongside a constellation of other health issues, do not hesitate to ask for additional testing. That request could end up saving your life or the life of someone you love.
Tony
multiple myeloma (MM)
