On December 22, 2017, I heard the words no one wants or expects to hear, "you have cancer." I had been feeling tired and easily out of breath for about two weeks, and my family physician said I was anemic. I just got worse every day; I could barely get dressed that Friday morning, so I called my physician. They said it's the Friday before Christmas, so go to the hospital. The ER brought me straight back when they checked my O2 saturation. After the bloodwork came back, they said, "You could have cancer; it is too late to do a bone marrow biopsy upstairs, so we will have to do it in the ER." I was in shock that all this was happening, and my husband was not with me at the moment because he was dropping our son off at a friend's house. I was alone and heard the scariest possible news, and then experienced the most painful procedure I had to this point in my life. I don't know if it was because the technician was not used to performing the bone marrow biopsy in the ER, or if they were done for the day and wanted to go home, but they hit my nerve, and my leg felt like hot pokers were being used. My husband came back to the hospital, and then we were told I had leukemia, and I was immediately being transported to another hospital's cancer center.
Diagnosis: Philadelphia-positive acute lymphoblastic leukemia (Ph+ ALL). The hospital was my home for three months. I was terrified I would never return home to my son and husband. After that, one week inpatient hospital and two weeks home. My immune system was wiped out from the chemotherapy; my hair was gone, and I had a Hickman line hanging out of my chest. but I was alive. Through all the pain, sickness, and complications, I was still alive. I give credit to the doctor and nurses, of course, but my family and friends were my savior. All the love and prayers, that's what kept me going. I didn't find out about Blood Cancer United (formerly LLS) until I was already in remission and doing maintenance treatments. When I did find them, I really appreciated all the resources they supplied and hearing others' stories. I wish I had known sooner. Whenever I hear of anyone diagnosed with cancer, I tell them to look up their cancer society site. If I had known sooner, it would've helped my first six months.
I’ve been in remission for almost seven years, and I still have anxiety every time I have to go to the oncologist for a blood draw (which is now every three months). Having leukemia will forever be a part of my life, and I have a soft spot for anyone who has a cancer diagnosis. The journey is not necessarily the same, but there is something we share that one who hasn't had cancer will never know.
Melanie
Philadelphia-positive acute lymphoblastic leukemia (Ph+ ALL)
