I'm 32 years old, a daughter, sister, wife, and mother. I was diagnosed with Stage 4 peripheral T-cell lymphoma (PTCL) just five months after the birth of my second child. My whole world stopped. A cancer diagnosis was not on my list of challenges to overcome this year. I was so excited for this stage of motherhood with two children under three. I couldn't wait to feel like myself again — to run, swim, hike, and most importantly, be the best mother I could be.
I first experienced night fevers and chills about eight months postpartum with my son. Bloodwork and a chest X-ray were all normal, except for mild anemia. I was told it was likely multiple viruses, which made sense with a mobile baby in the house. Relieved, I became pregnant with my daughter a few months later. I was anemic throughout pregnancy, but otherwise symptom-free. Any discomfort I had seemed like the normal strain of being pregnant with a toddler.
I delivered my daughter in October 2024. I felt more energetic than I had in months, but the fevers and chills returned 3½ months postpartum. I knew something was wrong and pushed for a CT scan. After multiple scans and biopsies, I was diagnosed on March 28, 2025. Initially staged at 2, a bone marrow biopsy revealed it had spread. Hearing "stage 4" felt like a death sentence.
At first, I wondered how my body could betray me when I'd treated it so well. I ate well, ran marathons, swam, and avoided toxins. I wanted God to yell, "You're cured! This was just a mistake." But He didn't. My sister reminded me that God often works through doctors, medicine, and our support system. My mindset shifted to "look how strong my body is." I had two healthy pregnancies and was present and energetic for my children. My fevers and chills had disappeared during pregnancy, and I believe my daughter helped keep me strong.
T-cell lymphomas are difficult to treat and prone to relapse. My best option was six rounds of chemotherapy followed by an autologous stem cell transplant. Even with a stage 4 diagnosis, we were treating for a cure. Preparing for chemotherapy meant also preparing my 5-month-old daughter to transition from breastfeeding to a bottle. Breastfeeding was a very personal goal, and I was crushed to know that I would have to stop. She resisted a bottle, but then God whispered. My sister breastfed her directly, and the night before chemo, she finally took a bottle. My sister donated over 2,000 ounces of breastmilk. Still, it wasn't enough for a year's supply, until another friend told me, "I have a freezer full of breastmilk just for you." Over my daughter's first year, we received over 7,000 ounces of breastmilk from nine donors — friends, acquaintances, and strangers. These women helped to feed my daughter and keep my goal alive.
A cancer diagnosis at such a young age with a young family can feel very isolating. Blood Cancer United helped connect me with people who have gone through the horrible experience of cancer and have come out on the other side. When my family worried about the financial strain of my diagnosis, Blood Cancer United was there to help offset costs.
This year has been the hardest year of my life. I've juggled motherhood, the physical toll of chemotherapy, and the fear of leaving my husband and children. I have never been more exhausted, but I have also never seen more beauty. I've witnessed extraordinary kindness and love. I know my own strength. I know that I've never given up before. As I enter this stage of life in COMPLETE REMISSION, I know that I need to run for a cure!
Clare
peripheral T-cell lymphoma (PTCL)
