Three years ago, I was working as a nurse and had a three-year-old and an eight-month-old at home. My husband was finishing his residency, and I was exhausted all the time. I really didn’t think anything of it, though; this is just motherhood. I had just had my labs drawn three months prior, so cancer never crossed my mind. A couple of weeks later, I spiked a fever and had excruciating pain in my stomach that prompted me to go to the Emergency Room. As the results of my work-up were posted to my portal, my husband looked at my labs, and his jaw dropped, and his face lost color. I had a critically high white blood cell count. With both of us being in the medical field, we knew that I had leukemia. We both embraced one another and cried. Immediately, I knew everything about my life was about to change.
But I got into the mindset of what I needed to do to get home to my girls. I was ready to beat this once and for all. I didn’t have another choice; my girls were too young, and they needed their mom. At 33 years old, I was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia (AML). The day after I was admitted, I was in the ICU receiving my first round of chemotherapy at the same time as having a life-saving procedure on my liver, which was where my AML had manifested. Finally, after 28 days, I was able to go home. Being home was wonderful but terrifying. Reality set in, and my husband and I had hard talks about our future and how aggressive this leukemia was. I no longer knew the person I was before cancer. I was struggling with my image, lack of hair, and weight loss, and my amazing medical team was no longer there to check on me.
When I reached remission, five weeks later, I felt like I was victorious in battle, but I knew my journey had just begun. I had accepted the fact that I had leukemia, I knew what I needed to do to keep fighting, and I had an entire army praying and fighting this fight with me. I felt strong because of them, I became more faithful because of them, and I was going to beat this because of them.
Before my stem transplant, I had never felt more unprepared. The uncertainty around the whole process and the risk involved weighed on me every day, but this was my second chance, and I needed to be there for my girls. My sister gave me hope by donating her stem cells. She blessed me and my family with the gift of more time and three bonus years.
“If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting.” This quote has stuck with me through this entire process and is a reminder of how fortunate I am to be an advocate for those sharing my journey. Every day, I am reminded of the blessing I am currently living in and experiencing, and the battle I fought to get to this place.
I have been so blessed to be in remission, but leukemia and this diagnosis will always affect me. Sadly, I have lost many close friends to this horrible disease. Yet, I have also gained lifelong friendships with those who have walked the halls alongside me. Blood Cancer United gives us hope for finding a cure to end blood cancer.
Lindsey
acute myeloid leukemia (AML)
